Remaking STAR WARS? It’s simply a matter of time.

Lately we’ve been buzzing with the fun of having our own mini-studio, punching out these SNOWMEN HUNTERS every week.

Yay, good for us. Whatever.

But as usually happens when you get a bit of success, your mind starts wandering towards the next head to mount on your wall. While we haven’t found that yet (other than more, crazier SNOWMEN HUNTERS episodes) we came across a hell of a headtrip.

It started as we thought about last week’s posting, about the SNL cast that is playing somehow, somewhere in the afterlife.

The SNL posting got us thinking about somehow bringing actors/directors from any era together for fantasy projects. We then remembered George Lucas talked a few years back about just this: At some point, the CGI engines which brought us the true, interesting fantasy acting of Gollum and King Kong (not just the misfires of Jar Jar) could eventually be used to resurrect Alec Guiness, River Phoenix, Natalie Wood, whoever. Grab an actor’s catalogue, every performance, picture, interview, voice-recording, plug it into a new script and POW: Now 1960s era William Shatner is the villain in the rebooted JAMES BOND series.

Try to tell us you didn’t just get a geekgasm.

Then it hit us: It’s only a matter of time before this process was used to remake the STAR WARS saga. Just try to tell us Lucas, the man who rewrote history (by CGIing Jabba the Hutt and having Greedo shoot first) wouldn’t jump at this. Or at least order his minions jump on this after he passed on.

Then it hit us again: The fine points of this technology will take a few years to develop, so when would this happen? Lucas is fond of reissuing tweaked versions on anniversaries (1997’s SPECIAL EDITIONS), so a better question is when could this happen? Wednesday, May 26, 2027, or the 50th Anniversary of STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE.

Dust off your countdown clocks. So stake-out your place in line now. It’s coming. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

Of course that got us and our pals thinking about what/how we’d do it. Here’s what we’ve come up with. Totally useless, we know, but really interesting to contemplate.

STAR WARS 2027

Writer/Director: Peter Jackson (we’re sure they’ll eventually have director-bots too). We thought about what he said in remaking KING KONG: That he’d use the original as a ‘real historical document’ i.e. the core which would act as a skeleton around which he’d update/change/enhance, all while being faithful to the ‘reality’ of the original work.

Sean Penn (FALCON AND THE SNOWMAN era) as Anakin Skywalker
Rachel Weisz (ABOUT A BOY) as Padme Amidala
Vincent Price as The Emperor
Andy Serkis (Gollum in LORD OF THE RINGS) as Yoda
Sean Connery as Obi Wan Kenobi
Orlando Bloom (PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN)as Luke Skywalker
Vivien Leigh (GONE WITH THE WIND) as Princess Leia
Burt Lancaster (FROM HERE TO ETERNITY) as Han Solo
Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca
Denzel Washington as Lando Calrissian
Christopher Walken as Count Dukoo
Lawrence Fishburne as Mace Windu
James Earl Jones as Darth Vader
Peter O'Toole (LAWRENCE OF ARABIA) as Qui Gon Jinn
Errol Flynn (THE SEA HAWK) as Jango/Boba Fett/Clone Troopers

Hashing around this idea with our friend Scott Sleeper, he came up with an interesting list:

James Dean (REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE) as Anakin Skywalker
Sophie Marceau (THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH) as Padme Amidala
Boris Karloff (or maybe Robert England) as The Emperor
Frank Oz as Yoda
Russell Crowe as Obi Wan Kenobi
Hugh Jackman as Luke Skywalker
Katharine Hepburn as Princess Leia
Charlton Heston (PLANET OF THE APES) or Bruce Campbell (EVIL DEAD 2) (LOL!!) as Han Solo
Kevin Peter Hall (the Predator in PREDATOR) as Chewbacca
Lawrence Fishburne as Lando Calrissian
David Carradine (KUNG FU, KILL BILL) as Count Dukoo
Keith David (PITCH BLACK) as Mace Windu
James Earl Jones as Darth Vader
Jet Lee as Qui Gon Jinn

Yes, we’re geeks.